


Chlorine Won't Mask The Taste of Salt Water

by ShinigamiMask



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Anniversary Celebrations, Asphyxiation, Drowning, F/F, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, I try, Im sorry if its not to anyone liking, M/M, Mentioned Character Death, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Quynh needs a hug and some therapy, Tbh they all do, Team as Family, Temporary Character Death, The usual shenanigans the old guard get up too, friendships, tw:suicide attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:09:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25854898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinigamiMask/pseuds/ShinigamiMask
Summary: Quynh's still adjusting to her life back with The Old Guard, reflecting on past decisions leads to some new ones.
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia & Quynh | Noriko, Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko, Booker | Sebastien le Livre & Quynh | Noriko, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani & Quynh | Noriko, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Nicky | Nicolo di Genova & Quynh | Noriko, Nile Freeman & Quynh | Noriko
Comments: 6
Kudos: 118





	Chlorine Won't Mask The Taste of Salt Water

**Author's Note:**

> TW:Suicide attempt! I must mention that first. Im a very rookie writer so I apologize if it's not too good or if typos are there, I try. No beta cuz uh, we die like immortals who love each other dearly. TOG Discord really helped push me to do this considering I've been on a writing hiatus for a bit. So I hope you all can enjoy what I wrote, mostly cuz this is to cope with the ending of TOG and the fact that we gotta wait for pt.2 and volume 3 of the comics. I apologize for any mistakes that people find, I tried my best. I'm not too happy with some parts of it but you know, I did it! It's not to gorey or anything but I rated it as mature just to be safe. So uhhh...enjoy!

Drowning for 500 years was never the plan. The taste of salt in the back of Quynh’s throat wasn’t there, she knew that. Yet it was always the same, in whatever liquid she drank, it was there, that foul taste that reminded her of the time she spent in that iron prison. It was in the water from the tap that Andromache offers after a sparring session. In the cheap alcohol Sebastien hands her after watching some crappy reruns on an old dingy tv with him after hearing about her sleeping troubles. It was in the protein smoothies that Yusuf and Nicolo made her try when she had woken up in the morning a bit earlier than she had hoped she would sleeping in Andromache’s arms. Hell, it was even in the so called “Dr.Pepper” Nile had shared with her in the kitchen one day after Quynh had said she was fine after a very heavy panic attack. She wouldn’t be surprised if there was salt running through her veins. 

When Copley had offered a new location for a safe house, he had mentioned a pool. Of course, everyone was a little hesitant to say yes due to Quynh. At first, she wasn’t in the room when Sebastien was talking to Copley on the phone. She had gone out on a night stroll, she needed the fresh air. Being in a room full of 5 other immortals had kicked in her claustrophobia, just a bit. Yusuf had said he was going to go grocery shopping for the next day, so tagging along seemed ideal to her, it had been so long since she’d seen the night sky. Despite it being months since her return, making small talk with almost anyone that wasn’t Nile or Sebastien felt...awkward to say the least.

~

“The stars are pretty today, aren’t they?” Yusuf asked with the ever present softness in his tone. 

“Yes. I remember stargazing with Andromache when she found me in the desert.” Quynh replies, she appreciates the attempt Yusuf is making to speak to her. 

Although, she really wishes he wouldn’t right now. 

“Well, I appreciate you allowing me to tag along...Joe.” Joe. Such an odd name compared to Yusuf. 

“You’re welcome my dearest Quynh.” 

And there it is. That warm smile he gives that calms her nerves. A smile that could calm even the roughest of storms. She doesn’t deserve it, not in a whole millenia. 

She doesn’t reply to Joe, only having her lips move into a thin line, she tries to find a reply, but deep down, she doesn’t know what to say. 

“It is alright. I understand.” 

Do you really, Yusuf?

~

Leaning against the car window, she watches the scenery go by. Lavish green hills and trees, birds perched on local houses, she even takes note of all the street lamps that shine bright in the evening that eventually replaced where torches would have originally been. 

How she’s missed all of it. 

Quynh eventually dozes off in the car, it wasn’t comfortable to lean her head against the window, but she felt as if leaning against someone else was just an invasion of space.

That’s what she keeps telling herself. The guilt stays, gnawing on her bones ever so slowly. She looks over to the driver’s seat, watching Andromache focus on driving reminded her of all the times they’d go horseback riding. She closes her eyes, takes in a deep breath, and remembers. 

_“Quynh please. Don’t hurt him.” Andromache had pleaded with all of her might, begging, on her knees._

_“And why not? You exiled poor little Sebastien, no? 100 years he told me, so I don’t see why hurting him for 99 is so bad.” Her lips curl into a sinister grin, walking towards Andromache before kneeling to reach her level._

_“We both know how broken poor little Booker is, Andromache. He didn’t even resist when I drowned him, said something along the lines of having it coming.” Quynh moves her hand to cradle Andromache’s face, wiping the tears that had begun to form at the corner of her eyes with her thumb. Though this time, there were no tender feelings of love, no feelings to comfort._

_It was pure, unfiltered, hatred._

_“If you are mortal now, you owe me the rest of your life. Even if that means breaking every single one of them. Yusuf. Nicolo. Sebastien. Even the baby, Nile.”_

She remembers how she had sneered at Andromache for being “weak”. 

Yet that was all she felt now. Weak. Alone. Afraid. 

_Shattered._

Her daze is broken when she awakens, feeling her head cradled in someone’s lap. She doesn’t remember moving from her spot against the window. She blinks, groggily looking up to see Sebastien looking down. 

“Bonjour mon ami.” Sebastien says with a tired, cocky grin. 

She immediately shoots up, hitting her head against the roof of the small car they all were in. She groans, hunching over to rub the affected area. She hears him laugh softly, the rest of them must be sleeping. Quynh groans again, before reaching over to shove him into the side of the car, watching him flinch just a slight bit when her hand nears his shoulder, she stops. 

That’s right, he’s still adjusting to having her around. His torturer. 

“...my apologies Booker.” She says feebly, before shrinking back to her place against the car window. 

“It’s alright, don’t worry about it.” 

She swears she sees Andromache’s head tilt from the driver's seat to see the commotion.

She hasn’t wanted to return to that iron maiden at the bottom of the ocean until now. 

~

Getting themselves adjusted to the new safehouse doesn’t take long. Quynh retrieves her bow and promptly leaves after, sparing no glance or conversation with any other. She passes where the pool would be, heading out the back into clearing of trees and grass. 

Target practice would prove helpful, just a bit. It only eases the feeling of guilt slightly. This time, instead of gnawing on her bones, it feels like an arrow piercing through her heart. 

_“Yusuf, mio cuore, destati.”_

_"Tutto bene, sono qui. Non sono ferito, mi guardi"._

_Quynh had pulled the arrow out of Yusuf’s calf, sitting on the seat just across from the pair of lovers. She ignored the pained noise Nicolo had made as he watched the blood gush from the wound, only to heal itself back to normal._

_“I'm glad you two are still as lovestruck as I had remembered.” Quynh chuckled, nocking the arrow against the bowstring, allowing it to rest before intently watching the two, chained up on the ground._

_“Quynh please,” Nicolo had beseeched, clinging onto Yusuf for dear life._

_“Please what, Nicolo?” She smiled, standing while kicking the chair to the side. She moves her arm back, the familiar feeling of drawing a bow coming back to her in waves._

_“Don’t do this.”_

_She releases the arrow, watching it fly and engrave itself into Nicolo’s head._

“May I join you?” The voice startles Quynh, she releases her arrow prematurely, missing the branch she originally wanted to hit as the arrow flies into the dirt. 

“Oh, Nicolo. You startled me.” She hides her annoyance under a laugh, nocking another arrow against the bowstring. 

“My apologies. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” 

_You wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to try anything funny._

“Right. Of course. Well, as you can see, I am indeed okay.” She doesn’t mean to intentionally sound annoyed, but it comes off that way. She glances to Nicolo’s face, she’s sure she would see a visage of hate. 

She only sees warmth, just like Joe. 

She hides her pain under a sigh. 

“Alright. You can join me. I should thank you and Andromache for keeping my bow in such good shape.” 

“That’s what family is for, yes?” 

Family. That’s what she had called them for the longest time. 

“So it would seem, Nicky.” 

If they were her family, she surely felt disowned. 

~

She recalls the first time Nile had explained what chlorine was for inside of pools. The guilt washing over her like a tsunami preying on a small village. 

_“It’s to clean out the bacteria inside of the water.”_

_“There's bacteria in the water?” Quynh asked curiously, staring at the pool Nile was in. She watched her do a “cannonball” earlier. She doesn’t understand why she couldn’t just say dive._

_“Stuff like E.coli and Salmonella, if you know what that stuff is.”_

_“I do not.”_

_“It can give you the shits, and it’s not pretty, lemme tell ya.” Nile laughs, before looking Quynh in the eye._

_“Do what you came here to do.”_

_Quynh chuckles, before reaching for the gun by her side. She listens to it click, watching Nile getting ready to avoid the mass array of bullets._

_“Always right to the point. I like that about you.”_

_She remembers watching Nile’s face of courage against the barrel of her weapon._

_The water had run red, although this time, there were no fish or sharks. Just Nile._

She sits on the bottom of the “deep end”, the chlorine stinging her eyes. She blinks, once, twice. She had a choice, to swim up and take gasps of air. She did not want to. She waits for the water to fill her lungs, before relapsing to the need of asphyxiating.  
She repeats the process again. Just like it was, 500 years ago. Although this time, there was no iron maiden. There was nothing to pound against except the walls of the pool. Scratching her fingers against the walls will have to do. She draws blood, watching it dilute into the pool water. It’s not as quiet as the ocean was, she’ll admit. 

She finally swims up after the 20th cycle. Coughing up the chlorinated water that had made a home inside of her lungs. 

It does not mask the taste of salt water in the back of her throat. 

She notices the new presence against the corner of the pool, she sighs. 

“If you’re here to lecture me Andromache-” 

“She’s not here right now.” 

Apparently Nile was here to save the day.

“...Hello Nile.” She says defeated, jumping up out of the pool to sit on the edge. She keeps her legs in the water despite remembering the feeling of being trapped. She doesn't know how to be without it. 

“What’s up?” Nile asks, handing her a fluffy red towel. Red. She presumes Nile remembered that red was her favorite color. She takes it gingerly with her wounded fingers, watching them heal as she moves the towel over her hair, beginning to dry it. 

“Oh you know, the occasional swimming.” She lies, but Nile knows the truth. 

“You know, healing takes time right?” 

Time. She’s sick of wasting _time._

“Don’t lecture me please, I don’t want to hea-” Before she could finish, Nile had already shut her up. 

“Nah. You listen to me, alright? Healing takes time. We’ve forgiven Book, we’ve forgiven you.” Nile deadpans. 

Quynh clenches her fist, feeling her nails digging into her palms. “It doesn’t, no, It shouldn’t work like that!” She yells, ignoring the feeling of the remaining water clearing out of her lungs. “All of you shouldn’t be forgiving me this fast. I hurt you all. Deliberately!” She stands, ignoring the towel that had fallen on the ground next to her. The red looks out of place, just like how she feels out of place with the rest of them. 

“You all should hate me!” 

“We love you.” 

There it was. The soft warm tone that surges into her heart. 

“Why?” Quynh sobs, falling back against the floor only to feel Nile embrace her. 

“Because, well, because you’re still the Quynh that Andy met all those years back, even if she is under a bunch of salt water, sorry.” Nile laughs, before moving back to look Quynh in the eye. She adjusts herself, dipping her feet into the water to allow Quynh to lay her head in her lap, just like she did with Booker a couple of hours ago. 

“My pops died back when I was 11, and for the longest time I thought I’d never be okay.” Nile begins, reaching over to take the fallen towel to continue drying Quynh’s hair while simultaneously wiping her tears. 

“I had to move on, to be strong for my family. My mom did the same, my little brother took a bit longer.” Quynh listens, because well, that’s all she really can do right now. 

“When I finally decided I’d join the Marines, I didn’t get the best reaction from my momma. She was hysterical, but my brother accepted it. That’s the way I wanted to heal, by helping others. Although the military was always kind of iffy, I met some friends there, and well, my throat got slit in Afghanistan. I’m sure you saw that in your dreams.” Nile gives a toothy grin before folding the towel and moving it to the side. 

“All I’m trying to say is, we only got time, Quynh.” She finishes before getting up, offering her hand for Quynh to take. 

“Time.” Quynh repeats before taking Nile’s hand.  
“Now, why don’t you go take a shower? I'm sure your hair would appreciate it.” 

She thinks for once, she might actually tolerate Nile. 

~

A shower was definitely a good idea. She stole some of Joe’s shampoo that smelt like wildflowers on a spring day, and said it reminded her of the time she forced everyone to go gardening with her. She wasn’t fully comfortable with the idea of showering alone though, so she made Nile stay by the door just in case. 

Turning the water off, she steps out. Drying her feet on the bath mat before looking at the mirror in front of her. 

She was Quynh. Friend to the immortals and lover to Andromache. She’d probably have to address the lover part with her but she hopes Andromache wouldn’t mind. She shakes her head, drying her hair before putting on the spare change of clothes Nile had given her. Outside, she hears a bunch of footsteps and the sound of a lighter. 

“Nile?” She calls out, waiting for a response. 

“Y-yeah I’m here, one second!” Quynh waits patiently, cracking the door open just a bit. Nile had taken a couple of steps away.

 _“God damn it Book, don’t put fucking alcohol in it!”_ She hears Andromache shout in the distance by the kitchen. 

She leaves the bathroom, only to have Nile, Nicky, and Joe, block her view. 

“Quynh, how is it going?” Joe smiles, his arms leaning against the small hallway. Nicky is copying the movement on the other side of the wall, with Nile in the front. 

“It’s alright...can I move past?” Quynh questions, taking a step forward before Nile stops her. 

“Why don’t, you wait a second with us yeah?” Nile’s attempt at hiding giddiness backfires. 

_“Why did you buy so many candles Andy, we only needed one!”_ Booker shouts, and Quynh can’t help her curiosity, so she shrugs, walking backwards into her shared room with Andromache. She listens for a collective exhale from the 3 blocking her way, before making a beeline towards them. 

“Wait, Quynh, wait!” Nicky yelps before being promptly run into. 

She forgets what happens within the next 5 minutes, but it ends up with Quynh on top of the three trying to restrain her to get to the kitchen. Unfortunately for them, she made it there. 

What she witnesses next can’t contain her laughter. 

Booker had been attempting to frost a cake with Andromache. She can make out some words, something along the lines of “Thanks for not killing us, Happy 1 year!”. 

“This is what you wanted to hide from me?” Quynh giggles helping the other three up from their spots on the floor. 

“You guys were supposed to stall her.” Andromache sneers, before putting a candle onto the cake, right under where the exclamation point should be. Booker takes a small drink from his flask, lightning it with a cheap gas station lighter. 

“I think we did a fine job.” Joe states before tending to Nicky’s bruised nose. Quynh makes a mental note to apologize to them later. 

“Well, blow your candle out.” Nile pulls out a seat for Quynh before Andromache sets the cake down in front of her. 

“Do I make a wish?” Quynh asks, scouting the room to see if she can pull what she is about to do off. 

“I mean, I guess you could. Doubt it’d come true though.” Booker takes another drink, only to have Nile flick him upside the head. 

She closes her eyes, blowing the candle out, the wisps of smoke and melted candle wax only serves to make this feel like a really odd birthday. Joe reaches to take the candle out, “What’d you wish for?” he asks. 

“It won’t come true if I tell you now, will it?” She hears Andromache snicker, “I’m with Book on the wish thing.” Tilting her head to look at Andromache, she smirks. “Would you like me to tell you what I wished for then?”  
“I don’t see the harm in it, why not.” Andromache leans in from her spot next to Quynh. 

The next minute is blur. She had moved her hand to the back of Andromache’s head, before pushing it down into the cake. There’s a collective silence that goes around the table, broken only by Quynh's excessive giggling.

“I guess I deserved that.” Andromache sighs, tasting the frosting that she had wiped from her face. 

“You did, Andy.” Andy. She’d had to get used to saying Andy instead of Andromache. 

Chlorine won’t mask the taste of salt water, but cake and companionship just might.

**Author's Note:**

> “Yusuf, mio cuore, destati.” -Yusuf my heart, wake up
> 
> "Tutto bene, sono qui. Non sono ferito, mi guardi". -It's okay, im here. Im not injured, see?
> 
> “Bonjour mon ami.”-Good morning my friend


End file.
